Football sucks for two reasons
I love football. We get up every Sunday morning, make breakfast (or go to Subway for a yummy breakfast sandwich), and then watch football from NFL Countdown until the tragedy that is Football Night in America starts. We stopped watching that piece of junk weeks ago, and I’ve even written on why the show has completely ruined the Sunday afternoon NFL recap time we used to cherish.
But I digress.
Why does football suck right now? Two reasons:
The Arizona Cardinals and Bryant Gumbel.
/gets on soapbox
I am a Cardinals fan through and through. Why? Cause I’m an Arizona native and that’s my team. They moved here, I adopted them and now I can’t get rid of that feeling of belonging.
But they sure have tested that bond over the years. Over and over. And then this week, an utter ridiculous loss to the pathetic 49ers who suddenly looked like a GOOD team because of our pathetic excuse for execution.
We have QB’s who fumble in the end zone, we lead the league in penalties and our kicker can’t make a 32-yard field goal? We could and SHOULD have been 6-5, have a winning record and be on Seattle’s butt for the big matchup in two weeks.
Ugh, kill me. It’s sad to think that Cleveland is coming to town next week at 7-4 and the Cards will likely lose to them. I don’t know how much more I can take of this losing.
But I’m sure I’ll stick around to find out.
And why does Bryant Gumbel suck? Well, let’s look at this.
If you like football, you love to see great matchups. A few weeks ago, it was the Colts and Patriots going at it in a very good football game. Sadly, the Pats won, which just ruined the season for me. I can’t stand them.
This week? The 10-1 Green Bay Packers face off against the 10-1 Dallas Cowboys. I of course hate the Cowgirls and love Brett Favre, so I’ll be pulling for the Pack.
It’s going to be awesome. It would be great to see Dallas suddenly not crowned the best team in the NFC by an old QB from Cheesehead Nation who isn’t quite ready to retire from football just yet.
So what’s the problem?
The game is on Thursday night, on the NFL network. And your commentators?
Bryant Gumbel and the joke that is Cris Collinsworth.
I can’t stand listening to the high pitched goof that comes from Gumbel during these games. I’ve heard from NO ONE I know that anyone finds him interesting to have describe a game. He’s horrific. The complaints have been many, yet he’s back for another season.
My wife says he sounds like Kermit the Frog. Nice one babe. Can you imagine listening to Kermit for a whole game? Might get old pretty quick.
And Collinsworth is just sad. He’s a pencil-necked weasel.
Yet those two knuckleheads get to host the biggest game this week and the biggest NFC matchup of the season.
I would try to find a radio broadcast of it, but I doubt it would be in sync with my satellite signal, so forget it.
The best method would be to let the game start, Tivo it and then begin watching about an hour or so into it. You can skip all the commentary and just watch the game.
I just may have to do this.
/gets off soapbox
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The Trousered Apes last...
I’m with you on your dislike for Kermit The Gumbel, but Cris Collinsworth is money. He is one of the only commentators that actually talks about football!
Actually football only sucks for one reason and that’s because we have to listen to dumb and dumber call one of the best games of the year featuring the greatest team of all time…that’s right the Cowboys!
I’m sorry for all you Cardinals fans, but they’ve always sucked and always will suck. They are cursed because of their dorky, bolo-tie wearing, loser of an owner, who also sucks! they are doomed and the only thing good about them is we built a bizillion dollar stadium for them so at least we get the Super Bowl and college national championships every few years. The rest of the time sucker fans can pay ridiculous money to see their sucky team in a great stadium. have fun suckers!
When you get done crying about the scourge of the NFL Cardinals, hop on the Cowboys bandwagon, we’ve got plenty of room.
Did I win anything for using ’sucks’ 7 times in one rant?
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Adam, I’ll take Troy Aikman anyday.
Also, Collinsworth used to blast the Cards all the time, which is probably where my hatred stems from.
Scott, I will never like the Cowboys, they are my sworn enemy since we used to be all together in the NFC East.
I will change my allegiance to the Colts, the Packers, even CLEVELAND before I ever root for the Cowgirls
That’s cool. I think any of those 3 will win 5 or more Super Bowls before the Cards get there.
I know I bagged on the Cards fans a bit, I actually can respect fans that stick with the team through thick and thin. Until recently my Cowboys have had a bit of a rough patch, which is no fun at all. I think the real difference is ownership. As much as people may hate Jerry Jones, he will do whatever it takes to win. Sadly knucklehead Bidwell doesn’t seem to care.
Scott’s last blog post..Career Launchpad: Career Orientation for College Graduates
I’m a lifelong Cowboys fan (I’ve always lived in Texas), but we’re a forgiving bunch so it’s okay if you want to continue to cheer for Arizona…even if they probably won’t ever win anything…sorry about that…
I agree with the suckiness that is the NFL putting this game on Thursday night…on the NFL network…with crappy commentators…it stinks. At least I have the Dish Network and can watch the game. That’s more than I can say for many of my friends and family who are definitely not happy.
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So DURING the Packers vs Cowboys game tonight, here are the searches that landed people here:
bryant gumbel sucks
bryant gumbel disliked
Bryant Gumbel sucks
I rest my case….
You’re so right…..I did search for Bryant Gumbel SUCKS. He’s dumb, his voice is irritating, so…..”Just like that” they should can his ass.
One last one:
bryant gumbel nfl sucks
(Favre getting hurt sucked, lousy game)
The NFL Network is odd at best, but the Cowboys/Packers game coverage was unbearable. The most frustrating part is HAVING to listen to the minor league caliber team of Gumble and Collingsworth because of HD signal delay. The “TV muted/radio play by play” procedure was greatly missed.
Bryant “Kermit” Gumble’s play by play sounded worse than the choir teacher who calls my son’s middle school games. And she actually called a 5th down this season. I’m not kidding! This man is NOT qualified to call a football game.
In addition, Gumble’s counterpart Cris Collingsworth continued his exercise in “unbiased” color commentating. His contempt for all things Cowboys was palpable. I imagined all 75K NFLN viewers yelling “WTF?!” when he called one Cowboy’s player a “tool”. What a piece of work. It sure sounded like Cris-sy wanted to shower with the Packers after the game. He really needed to, considering he had his nose in the Packer’s butt’s all night.
Do broadcasting networks determine the officiating staff for games? Those guys looked lost the entire game. 10-20 seconds to make a PI call is going to be controversial ANYTIME. It’s bad enough that we couldn’t enjoy Buck/Aikman or Michaels/Madden, but the fact that there were no familiar (experienced!) faces on the officiating crew makes the NFL network all the more suspect. Hopeless!
Clarifications:
I am a Cowboys fan born and raised, but I am just as happy to watch a great game regardless of the outcome. Rodger’s stepped up for the Packers. He kept it close, and I was impressed. Hope to see him play again soon.
Did questionable calls hurt the Packers? Yes. But… I truly believe if Favre hadn’t been injured and the Cowboys receivers caught the end zone passes they were supposed to, the score would have been a whopping 51-10 anyway.
Nice comments Kenneth, totally agree on all of it.
The officiating was a joke and the first pass that Al Harris stole from Owens was the beginning of all the madness. Calling forward progress when the guy wasn’t even tackled was strange.
Favre was off his game, not sure why, but he was just heaving bombs to no one in particular instead of taking small chunks of yards like they’ve been doing all year.
And it sucks that Aikman was AT THE GAME, yet we couldn’t listen to him instead of Collinsworth. Aikman is the best color guy in the NFL right now.
Thanks for stopping by!
FOOTBALL IS HE BEST SPORT EVER AND IT WILL NEVER SUCK
Hello, you totally missed the point.
Dec 26th, 2007 at 5:28 pm
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