And you care why???

// March 14th, 2009 // family

The title of this post was a simple line of text I wrote on Friday morning, and it turned into something much bigger by the end of the day.

My cousin, the Cap’n, and I were chatting back and forth on instant messenger that morning. We talk a lot about entertainment, comics, etc., stuff that we both find interesting. Lost, Battlestar Galactica, Captain America, you know…fun stuff.

He wrote the following to me (and I don’t think he’ll mind me sharing):

“I have a major gripe. Major! West coast sees BSG before we do. We are on the same time now, but we get bsg at 8, they get it at 7, because it airs at 10 est, so they get the live feed of it, we dont.”

I thought it was kind of funny, because it didn’t seem like something to get real upset about. So I responded:

“And you care why???”

It turned into a strange moment. The Cap’n didn’t say anything for a few minutes, and suddenly he comes back with:

“Ya know… you gave me a good perspective just now. Well done.”

But it didn’t end there. He said he analyzed what I wrote to him so much, he was going to apply it to the rest of his day no matter what happened.

And amazingly, two more times situations arose where he would normally raise hell, throw a fit, etc., but he decided to instead think “And I care why???”

Both ended up working in his favor. And eventually the whole thing came full circle and finally started making ME think.

How many things in my life do I get upset about when it really doesn’t matter? Why do I care?

Take driving for example. It is one of the few things in life that can send me from a happy mood into white hot anger in a heartbeat. Someone going slow in the fast lane, not moving over for faster traffic, people not paying attention, whatever.

I usually take it all as a direct insult to myself and the art of driving in general. But lately I’ve been trying very, very hard to not get upset. Just move on by, don’t give the other driver a dirty look and feel a lot better about myself.

From now on, I’m going to try and say to myself:  “And I care why??”

It’s really something to use in many other aspects of life. How many things on a daily basis upset us for reasons that don’t matter? Yes, there are lots of problems during our day which DO require us to care and to act upon them. And we should.

But there are tons of others that we need to just ignore and move on. Because what does getting angry ever solve? It creates bitterness and mistakes. I know when it happens to me, I tend to immediately regret getting so uppity over something so unimportant.

This may seem deep for a Saturday morning, but it was something I felt driven to write about. I’m curious what you guys think and if you ever experience the same thing.

10 Responses to “And you care why???”

  1. D.L. White says:
    March 14, 2009 at 10:13 am

    Awesome post! Good stuff. I definitely have a problem with caring too much about things that don’t even effect me or things that may or may not ever happen. (I’m a worry-wart.) And a good part of dealing with that and keeping it in check is to ask myself “Is worrying about it going to change anything?” So it’s similar to this little exercise your talking about. Btw – traffic used to get to me too, until I started working at this engineering firm and realized – when you live in a big city, there’s going to be traffic. It’s one of the sacrifices you make for living in a city, is dealing with congestion and traffic. Once I accepted it, it didn’t get me wound up anymore. Anyway, great post. Good stuff to chew on.

  2. Jina says:
    March 14, 2009 at 8:51 pm

    this is another reason why i love you… nothing is off-limits in your self-examination. then you never hesitate to share with all of us.

  3. Mike says:
    March 15, 2009 at 7:00 am

    Thanks Davina…yesterday was a fun day…there was quite a few bad drivers, some bad traffic due to an accident, but I just kept saying “and I care why?” and it just wasn’t so bad.

    Made things more relaxing and enjoyable yesterday.

    Jina…I love you!

  4. Josie says:
    March 15, 2009 at 4:22 pm

    This is why I love you too. Wait, what? ;) I’m just kidding!

    I used to get REALLY angry on the road in my early 20s. Now it just seems silly! At some point or another I had a moment like you and it was like I’m putting out all this negative energy that wasn’t going to do anything anyway… so why get bothered about something I can’t do anything about! So I stopped flipping the bird at little old ladies with blue hair and haven’t looked back since.

  5. Mike says:
    March 15, 2009 at 4:28 pm

    Josie, you are so nice, it’s hard to imagine you giving the finger to an old lady :)

  6. Josie says:
    March 15, 2009 at 4:45 pm

    One of my most embarrassing moments was picking up some cokes to bring to a pool party and was tailing this jerk who was going super slow THE WHOLE WAY from the store and down the same streets I needed to go. Then he pulled into the driveway of KATIE DAVIS who was throwing the party for c4. Yeah, it was her dad and I was SO SO SO mortified. Oh the horror! I was like, “Hey!” Like I hadn’t been tailing him and throwing my hands up frustrated the whole time. Let’s take a moment and swallow that pride. (Not that Ken is an old lady or anything.)

  7. Mike says:
    March 15, 2009 at 4:53 pm

    Ouch Josie, that is awful!

    Since you shared so openly, I will too. My angry driver legacy sort of came to crossroads last year on our way out to Maricopa to see Tyler and Sara.

    A two-lane highway, these people in front of me would not get over. I was incredibly frustrated and decided that the left shoulder looked like a lane to me.

    So I passed them on the shoulder. It was stupid. But I did it.

    Then we get to our friends’ house and suddenly the car I passed pulls up to the driveway and I get lambasted by the woman inside of it. She said her husband was a cop, she had my license and that she was going to call the police to get them to cite me a ticket.

    At first I was annoyed and mad, and wanted to argue that she wouldn’t get over (which I did a little of).

    But then I realized how much of it was my fault and how ridiculous I was acting, so I just said I was very, very sorry and yes, it was my fault, yadda, yadda.

    That was a turning point for me…since then, I’ve not let things get to me as much as I used to.

  8. Cap'n Schwartz says:
    March 16, 2009 at 7:33 am

    I gotta tell ya… those words came across the screen “And you care why???” and I lost track of everything… it all totally dawned on me, everything at that moment, it was bizarre, had a billion thoughts racing of all the things out fo my control that i get mad over, as D.L said, I get in angst over things that never even might happen!!! I was going to try, just for a day, to have nothing bother me (even things in my control)… and it was a bizarre how the day cahnged, and mostly my outlook on it. I had 2 large instances that I would normally want very differnt outcomes on, I had large ownership stakes in both items, that were not turning out how I wanted… “And I care why???”… I let go, didn’t put up a fight, just agreed, brushed it off… and it was amazing how both items then turned in my favor.

    It was a day that proved to me, you can have whatever kind of day you want to have, if you want to have a good day , then have one, you want to be angry and grumpy and let everything bother you… it will.

    I’m not sure why, but my lil cuz got me back to the basics, and reminding me to let go more and not get all worked up by everything because of 4 little words…. Thanks mike, it is trying to set a new trend for me…

  9. Mike says:
    March 16, 2009 at 7:48 pm

    You’re welcome, and thanks for taking what i said to heart, because it really helped bounce it back to me and accomplish the same thing.

  10. Scott says:
    March 17, 2009 at 3:46 pm

    Great stuff Mikey and thanks Cap’n for sharing. Kinda goes back to the feel good book of a few years ago ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff…and it’s all small stuff’.

    It is amazing how much better we feel when we let go of things that really don’t matter, once we do we begin to realize how so many other things that we tie ourselves in knots over really don’t matter either.

    I know the more I can do this more I can appreciate the things that really do mater; my family, friends, etc. Time becomes more my friend and less my enemy.

    Thanks again Mike!

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